I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
