I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
