Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
