Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
