look no pants
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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