Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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