So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
