Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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