i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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