Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
time to smoke my breakfast
we're making bets on your personal life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize