I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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