Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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