I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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