is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
