just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
