I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
