idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
