i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
