Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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