its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize