I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
