the new term for farting is butt boxing.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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