Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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