Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
