this beer tastes like vomit already
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
