I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
