your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize