He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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