STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
