I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
