is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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