Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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