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my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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