How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
