I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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