how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
