no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So many bounce houses so little time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
