I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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