i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Drunk is a universal language darling
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
