this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
