i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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