every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
