I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
