You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
