I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
