i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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