She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
