i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
