as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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