Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
