I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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