We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
