I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
