I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
