How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Blood and glitter go together right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
