i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize