I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize