You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
