I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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