Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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