She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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