I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You can't special order awesome
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
