yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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