in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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